I like shaking the hands of old men
This message is intended for men…but read as you wish.
Today i shook hands with a familiar man in his 60s. We exchanged in some casual conversation about life and then went on our way. It was directly after this encounter that i realized something….i like shaking hands with older men because it is standard good old america no nonsense handshake. These days when two younger males shake hands it’s like a modern take on a scene out of West Side Story….it involves a lot of wrist angling, knuckle tensing and sometimes even ends with a snap. On top of that this exchange can occur 1-9 times within a conversation depending on how many beers were had and how much one guy feels like the other guy understands what he’s saying.
Years ago when i was just a boy i remember engaging in such kind of hand shakes with my friends strictly in a way to mock those who did this for real…mostly rappers and drug dealers….now many years later i find it’s common practice with all dudes and i myself am equally guilty.
So here’s what i propose…in 2010 let’s all get a hold of ourselves and break this habit that we’ve somehow slipped into. When we shake hands let’s not engage in a dumbed down version of “Miss Mary Mack” (think back to those two girls in your bus in elementary school). Instead let’s exchange in what i call an “AHS” or “American Handshake”…..it’s firm, it’s quick and we nod our heads while looking each other straight in the eye during the instance that it’s occurring. It won’t be awkward because it’s quick and it’s quick because i don’t need you grinding your sweaty palms to and fro all over my hand and unknowing become blood brothers with you….god only knows what condition your food grabbers are in let alone where they’ve been besides in a bag of chips.
Also if you catch me doing otherwise, please bring it to my attention as we’re all gonna have to help each other end this unnecessary game. Perhaps next year we can discuss bro-hugs but let’s take one step at a time.
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